It’s PAY WHAT YOU PLEASE time! (and an announcement!)

Has anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!

Elizabeth GilletteNovember 15, 2022anxious attachment, anxious-avoidant, avoidant attachment style, avoidant dismissive, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, anxious attachment style, attachment style, attachment theory, attachment coach, avoidant partner, avoidant Comment

Can you hold two things at once?

The Pay What You Please Online Course Sale is happening NOW through Sunday, April 24!

Everything You Wanted to Know about Your Avoidant Partner

I am so excited to share this post with you today. I have had the opportunity to connect with the creator of the Loving Avoidant Instagram page who has generously and vulnerably shared their experiences with the avoidant attachment adaptation. As you know, I believe this style is deeply misunderstood and has a negative reputation in the attachment world. There is so much healing we can all do by learning more about how people experience this style, what it’s like for them in relationships, and how we can all become more loving, safe, and accepting human beings.

Elizabeth GilletteOctober 18, 2021avoidant attachment triggers, anxious attachment, attachment styles, anxious avoidant trap, anxious-avoidant, avoidant partner, anxious avoidant dynamic, avoidant, avoidant dismissive, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, avoidant attachment, making anxious avoidant relationship work, avoidant attachment style, signs an avoidant loves you Comments

This Attachment Statistic Blew My Mind

I read an article recently that shared this statistic that I hadn’t heard before in my attachment theory studies:

“Further research tells us that in approximately 85 percent of cases a child…will have the same attachment pattern as the parent” (Buckwalter and Ehmen, 2013).

It makes sense that children will have a similar attachment style to their caregiver in a number of cases—but 85% of the time?!

Elizabeth GilletteSeptember 21, 2021attachment styles, attachment theory, attachment style, secure attachment style, secure attachment, anxious, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, avoidant Comments

How do I move on from my relationship?

I hope you are taking good care of yourself and you are feeling supported in your community.

I am taking the opportunity this week to answer a few questions that folks submitted to me via Instagram. I love being able to respond to your inquiries and provide some perspective from an attachment lens about your experiences. Thank you for your vulnerability and trust!

Elizabeth GilletteAugust 17, 2021attachment styles, attachment theory, avoidant partner, avoidant attachment style, avoidant, healthy relationships, healthy communication in relationships, relational patterns Comments

Online Course Sale, Updates, and TEND!

I have some updates for you this week!

Elizabeth GilletteJuly 19, 2021online courses, online course, avoidant partner, avoidant attachment style, avoidant, anxious, anxious-avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, anxious avoidant dynamic, sec, secure attachment style, secure attachment relationship, di Comment

Attachment Work is Worth It

My partner and I were recently discussing our time in couples therapy a few years ago. I’m not sure how we stumbled on the subject, but it was sweet to recall where we were at that time in our relationship and all the progress we’ve made and the growth we’ve experienced since that time. I’m going to be honest—we were struggling. We had gotten married just a few months earlier and all of a sudden it felt like (pardon my language) shit got real. We knew that if we continued engaging in the pattern of having a big argument, feeling resentful and frustrated with no solution, moving on and trying to ignore the problem, then starting all over again, our relationship would be so damaged we might not be able to come back from it.

Elizabeth GilletteMay 10, 2021attachment styles, anxious-avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, anxious attachment, anxious partner, anxious avoidant dynamic, avoidant partner, avoidant dismissive, avoidant, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, avoidant attachment Comment

Is there a problem in my relationship or am I just avoidant?

Hello! I received this question from someone I’m connected with and I wanted to spend some time answering. When we find ourselves at a crossroads in a relationship and we are aware of how our insecure attachment styles can arise and potentially sabotage us, it can be challenging to determine where the desire to leave a relationship is coming from. Let’s dive in!

Elizabeth GilletteApril 26, 2021avoidant attachment style, attachment style, avoidant attachment, avoidant partner, avoidant dismissive, avoidant, signs an avoidant loves you Comments

The Top 10 Things I Say In Therapy (plus a FLASH SALE!)

Each therapist has a different style. I like to think that mine is supportive and reminds people that they already have so much knowledge—and sometimes we need someone to reflect that wisdom back to us. In using the attachment framework I talk about so often in my blog, my goal is to deepen my clients’ understanding of their early (and current) life experiences and provide a fresh perspective so they can move toward healing. We all deserve healing and we all deserve support. That is how I approach every single session.

Elizabeth GilletteNovember 12, 2018anxious-ambivalent, anxious attachment, anxious attachment style, therapy, counseling, heirloom counseling, avoidant, avoidant partner, anxious avoidant trap, anxious avoidant dynamic, relationships, relationship anxiety, marriage counseling Comment

Sex and Attachment Interview Series with Jamie Brazell: Part 1

I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to talk with Jamie Brazell, M. Ed., LMFT, CST in this first interview about Sex & Attachment. During this first piece, we are talking about the work Jamie does, the different variables that can impact intimacy, and the importance of flexibility in relationships…

Elizabeth GilletteAugust 5, 2018anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, anxious-avoidant trap, avoidant-dismissive, avoidant, anxious attachment, anxious-ambivalent, sex, relationships, healthy relationships, communication, intimacy Comments

How to Know if Your Avoidant Partner Wants to Work on Your Relationship

When your attachment style lands on the anxious end of the spectrum, it can be difficult to hear what your partner may be telling you very transparently. I believe that if your partner is telling you openly that they do not want to work through your relationship challenges, you should honor their communication and listen to them. Moving on at that point is the best thing you could do for yourself.

Elizabeth GilletteJune 11, 2018anxious-avoidant, avoidant partner, avoidant, avoidant dismissive, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, avoidant attachment style, avoidant attachment, relationship anxiety, relationships, partnerships, attachment style, signs an avoidant loves you Comments

Resilience and Repair Are Where It’s At

Relationship disconnection is a common occurrence in many relationships, and it makes sense why—we can’t be attuned to our partner and their needs all the time, and even if we are, it’s likely that we will make mistakes as far as anticipating what they may need or the type of support that will feel best for them. In secure relationships, when partners recognize they have become disconnected, they intentionally work together to repair the attachment rupture, come back together, and be sure they are on the same page as they move forward in their relationship.

Elizabeth GilletteApril 9, 2018attachment, avoidant, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, anxious ambivalent, anxious attachment, attachment theory, healthy relationships, partnership, dating, marriage, how to self soothe anxious attachment Comment

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