In this eclipse time, where the things we don’t need are falling away left and right, I want to offer some permission slips for you:
Read More
As I’ve been researching and planning for our disorganized attachment offerings, I’ve been thinking about how easy it can be to slip into younger versions of ourselves when stress, trauma, fear, or overwhelm creep in. Parts work, or Internal Family Systems, can be a beautiful and extremely helpful framework for understanding why we show up the way we do in moments of stress and anxiety—especially in our relationships.
Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.
Read More
I have been thinking a lot about how I used to think I had to hold space for EVERYTHING. It wasn't long ago that my boundaries were messy and I was overly accommodating. I caused myself a significant amount of anxiety (not to mention drama and ways to keep myself busy) by engaging in relational dynamics that were unhealthy and unpredictable.
Read More
Twenty years ago, I had just turned 18 and my dad hadn’t died yet.
I was preparing to move for my first year of college. I was working as a hostess at a restaurant, eating baguette and butter for dinner most nights I was there. I was in a relationship with a person who was exceptionally intelligent and emotionally manipulative, and I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than I already had, in that relationship or otherwise. My self-esteem was tanked and I was depressed.
I have something exciting to share:
I'm bored in my business, and I am thrilled about this!
Don’t get me wrong—I absolutely love attachment work and that love isn't going anywhere. I began my private therapy practice in 2015 and dove headfirst into all things attachment. From my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples to the first three levels of Dynamic Attachment Repatterning, I've been thoroughly immersed in the world of attachment theory for many years. The resonance I feel with this work is core-deep.
This blog post is a follow-up to a previously published post, Is Your Partner Avoidant or Abusive? Let’s talk about the differences. This post continues to receive comments and engagement, and I want to continue the discussion here with additional nuance and updated considerations.
Read More
I hope you’re enjoying early springtime. Here in the mountains of Western North Carolina, so much is already blooming and I’m soaking it all in on my short walks (waddles?) with my dog. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and even though our initial plans were to have a non-surgical birth this time around, it looks like we are headed that direction after all. This sweet baby is happy to sit head-up in their cozy uterus hammock and just like with my first, seems to be asking us to come get them. So my mantra lately has been “okay love, I hear you. Stay put. We are coming for you. We will be there so soon.”
Read More
Happy Winter Solstice! I love taking time to do some reflection around the Solstice—I think it’s such a powerful ritual so we can get clear about what has worked and what hasn’t, what we are grateful for, and what we want to carry with us and cultivate in the next year.
Read More
Has anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!
Read More
Now that I’ve done this work for a while, I’m able to see that there are a lot of different ways to utilize attachment theory. I think the most effective way to utilize attachment theory is using approachable and inclusive materials, dropping in to the body, and creating resources and strategies that build a felt sense of safety.
Read More
Are you the kind of person who can read article after article, book after book, and loves to absorb information and learn things? When I become interested in something, I dive right in. I want to know as much as I can.
But knowing only gets me so far.
Read More