This blog post is a follow-up to a previously published post, Is Your Partner Avoidant or Abusive? Let’s talk about the differences. This post continues to receive comments and engagement, and I want to continue the discussion here with additional nuance and updated considerations.
Read MoreI hope you’re enjoying early springtime. Here in the mountains of Western North Carolina, so much is already blooming and I’m soaking it all in on my short walks (waddles?) with my dog. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and even though our initial plans were to have a non-surgical birth this time around, it looks like we are headed that direction after all. This sweet baby is happy to sit head-up in their cozy uterus hammock and just like with my first, seems to be asking us to come get them. So my mantra lately has been “okay love, I hear you. Stay put. We are coming for you. We will be there so soon.”
Read MoreI hope you are doing well and February is feeling more ease-full than January (I’m not sure what your January was like, but mine was LONG).
Like many of us, I’ve been hard at work in my own personal therapy on processing some of the difficult experiences I’ve gone through and growing my awareness of the old patterns I carry with me, many of which I don’t even realize are still hanging around. And just like my clients, I have had several moments where I’ve said out loud “I honestly thought I worked through that already! Why is it coming up for me again?” My answer to myself recently has been this: healing has many layers.
A common question in relationships is “how much space should I give my partner?” It’s tricky to navigate this at times, especially if you are in an anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic. Your partner indicates they want space, but you want to know *exactly* what that means. This desire is completely understandable—we know that for folks with the anxious attachment adaptation, that space can feel excruciating at times. And of course, you want to do it well and be respectful of your partner’s needs.
Read MoreI am so excited to share this post with you today. I have had the opportunity to connect with the creator of the Loving Avoidant Instagram page who has generously and vulnerably shared their experiences with the avoidant attachment adaptation. As you know, I believe this style is deeply misunderstood and has a negative reputation in the attachment world. There is so much healing we can all do by learning more about how people experience this style, what it’s like for them in relationships, and how we can all become more loving, safe, and accepting human beings.
Read MoreOne of the most frequently asked questions I receive as an attachment therapist is how to navigate the infamous anxious-avoidant relationship pattern. It’s a tricky one and I know from experience how challenging it feels to love someone so much and also feel unclear about how to approach your relationship and your partner. This dynamic can bring a lot to the surface for both partners, so I believe it’s a real opportunity to do our personal attachment work and bring that to our relationship.
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