When I was young, people commented on my sensitivity. They would tell me that everyone knows how I am feeling by the look on my face, that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I learned that I needed to toughen up, thicken my skin, get a better poker face if I was going to avoid further comments and keep anything to myself. It sounded harsh then, but what I know now is that these people were trying to protect me. They could see that the way I walked through the world was not going to be easy for me, and that if I showed up just how I was, I would get hurt. A lot. Who wants that for someone they care about? Parents want to protect their children from pain and loss as much as possible. But what I have learned is that there is no way my family could have protected me from what would come. My parents would have done absolutely anything to save me from my life experiences and the depth of feeling that would accompany those moments, but they just couldn’t. They had to figure out how to support me.
Read MoreArguing with our partner is quite possibly one of the most stressful day-to-day experiences we can have. On the way out the door to work, when we arrive home and are trying to get dinner on the table, or right before bed; no matter how it happens, it’s kind of the worst. Bedtime is my least favorite argument time. My partner and I are both exhausted and even our best deescalating and coping skills can’t stop a petty disagreement from becoming a blow-out argument where we go to bed pissed and wake up feeling crappy.
Read MoreFamilies can be complicated or wonderful (but usually both). There are times when a person may feel it necessary to end contact with a family member. These reasons can vary significantly: there may be a history of abuse or neglect, really challenging communication, high levels of conflict, or strong differences in opinion about important issues. Estrangement can also occur after a big life transition, like getting married or having children. Sometimes estrangement can look like complete disconnection, or very calculated communication, only discussing specific topics and avoiding sensitive ones altogether.
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