Do you know how to mend what's broken?

Hello!

I have a bit of a controversial opinion: maybe we should be investing in the relationships we have instead of fantasizing about something better.

In our culture of fast fashion and dating apps, we have learned very well how to move on and forget. We are always ready for the next thing—the next holiday, the next trend, and even the next partner if we are dating. Our society encourages us to focus on what’s coming instead of sitting with what is, and this deeply impacts how we are in our relationships.

In a culture that has become used to throwing things away when they are old, when they become worn, when they are in need of repair, choosing to mend might be revolutionary. I want to be clear that this does not *in any way* apply to relationships that are abusive. I’m talking about our relationships that feel mediocre or unsatisfying or generally kind of blah, or even ones that feel “fine.” Those characteristics indicate that maybe they are in need of mending somehow, of our attention and care.

I believe there is a better way for us to navigate relational challenges—and that is focusing on repairing, together.

How comfortable are you when you need to apologize?
Do you actively choose to reflect on relationship challenges and make amends and do things differently in the future?
Are you able to recognize the ways in which you don’t show up as your best self?
Are you able to see the benefit of shifting your focus from being right to being in right relationship with others?

I love this time of year for reflection, and I also see it as a time for us to continue to get clear on ways we want to grow in the next year. Winter is a perfect time to mend what is broken, rest, and tend to the relationships that are important to us.

I created the Rupture and Repair Bundle because I want you to feel confident in addressing relationship disconnection. It’s a natural part of being a human, and instead of uncomfortably avoiding issues that arise, you will have tools to move through disconnection and create stronger relationships. Many of us were not directly taught how to notice patterns of disconnection, own our part, apologize, and reconnect. Here is your opportunity.

Speaking of reflecting, I went ahead and created the 2023 Relational Reflection for you, so you can take a look at how your relationships felt over the past year. Personally, I’m especially grateful for relational repair and resilience, new friendships, and meeting a very special person who has changed my life forever. It was a big year for me when it comes to relationships: I became a mother again and grew my capacity to love, hold space, and grieve (because I'm pretty sure that parenting is learning how to let go, every day); my relationship with my work evolved; and I continue to evaluate and assess my relationship with my community and the world: how am I showing up? Am I doing my best? What more can I do? What are my limits in this phase of my life, and can I accept those? In what ways can I stretch myself? How can I model how to be a better, more compassionate human to my children? How am I supporting the weaving of a community fabric where caring for each other is a primary value, backed by action?

The work is never over. I am really happy to be able to do it, with you, in this time in the world. More than ever, we need people who are committed to being the best versions of themselves, changing patterns, and practicing how to show up well.

Big hugs,

Elizabeth

P.S. If you're interested in connecting with me in the new year, I have a couple of therapy and coaching slots open! Feel free to email me or fill out the contact form so we can explore whether it feels like a good fit for us to work together.