Embodiment is Foundational to Healthy Relationships
Hi there!
When I moved to Asheville, NC 12 years ago, I was fresh out of graduate school. I had trained as a medical social worker in a prestigious hospital outside of Seattle, known for their care of NICU infants. I was incredibly lucky to be hired at my local hospital and began to learn about and understand not only the culture of the hospital, but the culture of Appalachia.
At 25, I was energetic, sweet, talkative, and engaged in my job—I wanted to do it exactly right, and I felt so strongly about building rapport with the people I was working with. I carried a pager (remember those?) and clipped it to the top of my boot. I was young and sharp and a little sassy, and so excited to begin my career.
My supervisor at the time was in her 60’s and had a direct demeanor, which was typically fine with me—until the day she sat me down in her office and said “the way you dress, no one is going to take you seriously—I think you should consider a new professional wardrobe.”
I wish I could have seen my own face.
Here is what I know: I was absolutely professional enough for the job I was doing. Her comment had much more to do with how she felt than about my experience, or about her “looking out” for my professional growth. She was projecting something onto me in a way that she considered to be helping me, and I could have easily been influenced by her projections and lost a part of what made me who I was then. We all have times in our lives when we are more easily influenced and can fall victim to the beliefs and projections of others.
And the truth is that I am so glad I had some sense of myself and who I was then—because every decision I’ve made since then (including leaving that job!) has been connected to my trust in myself and my belief that if something doesn’t feel right to me, there is a better and more aligned opportunity out there. People who have passed judgement or projected their own unprocessed hurts onto me have only guided me in the right direction. That doesn’t mean I didn’t need to heal from those instances (I definitely did, thank goodness for therapy); in fact, my dear friend Liz Gunn, an intuitive astrologer, often reminds me that the way a situation unfolded may have been the *only* way to get me to where I needed to go next. Phew! There are so many opportunities to trust how life is playing out.
Occasionally, I still see my old supervisor out and about in town, especially as I take long walks in my office neighborhood with my dog. I wear what I want and share what I want and teach the concepts that resonate with me. My calendar is full of clients and events and collaborations that wake me up in the night with ideas and excitement and a desire to support my mission in any way I can. There are very few things in my job that I have to do that I don’t like—and I work to narrow that list further all the time. For me, the work I do is a gift rather than a means to an end.
I also recognize now that I have learned how to feel and be more embodied—more deeply connected to who I am, my values, and what is important to me. I still get shaken up sometimes and just like anyone, I can fall into an overthinking spiral and I need to slow down, check myself, regroup, and refocus. But the core pieces are there.
Embodiment and connection to self is one of the most important ways we can improve our relationships with others. Developing awareness of our emotional patterns, parts, triggers, and needs allows us to communicate more effectively and slow down the relational process so we can really see one another. Feeling more at home in yourself is a beautiful gift to give and receive, and I’m really excited to share an embodiment opportunity with you!
I am so pleased to announce the Winter Homecoming Retreat: Returning to the Roots of Body and Being that I will be co-facilitating with my dear friend Gillian Hailey this November in the mountains of Western North Carolina. This retreat is centered around creating cozy and nourishing experiences that allow you to return to yourself as we prepare for winter hibernation and a more internal way of operating.
ALL-INCLUSIVE Winter Homecoming Retreat is a thoughtfully curated immersive retreat experience including experiential learning through expert instruction, generative group sessions and on-the-spot 1:1 support and guidance, and deeply nurturing and nourishing activities for mind, body, and being including:
Nourishing meals, snacks, coffee, tea, and non alcoholic beverages will be provided all weekend and prepared by an INCREDIBLE chef
Cozy cabin lodging for 2 nights at the magical Indigo Nature Retreat
Gentle and Restorative Yoga, Seasonal Self Care Rituals, Guided reflection + relaxation + restoration
Expertly guided exploration of Attachment Theory, Authentic Relating, and Embodiment as the foundation of individual and collective connection & well-being
Open Q&A with Elizabeth & Gillian
Nurturing time in nature (think morning bird songs, star gazing, babbling brooks, bonfire gatherings), community connection, and all the cozy things.
Registration for this retreat opens TODAY. There are 8-10 spots available and we expect them to move quickly, so if you are interested in joining us, please use this link to learn more and register. We are currently offering early bird pricing as well as a “sign up with a friend” option that saves you even more!
If you have questions about the retreat, what is included, whether it might be the right fit for you, or anything else, please reply to this email and I will be sure to get back to you. I really hope to see you there and I can’t even express how excited I am to be offering this opportunity!
To our embodiment and deepening connections,
Elizabeth