Flexibility and Secure Relationships

Hi!

The themes of flexibility and patience have been up for me lately. Do you ever notice how the same lessons keep coming up over and over again until we finally learn them? For me, the lessons related to flexibility and patience usually have to do with reworking all of my big plans, pivoting last minute, WAITING (the worst!), and soooo many deep breaths.

Honestly, these are probably some of my biggest personal challenges. I love having a plan and sticking to it, then checking it off my list. Shifting from the original plan many times leaves me feeling run down, frustrated, and hopeless. That’s how I know it’s part of my current work. There’s nothing like experiencing a pandemic, having a toddler, and owning a small business that will “help” you learn flexibility and patience.

But you know what is kind of amazing? As I sit with these topics and begin to understand all I have to learn about them, I realize how critical they are to creating true security in relationships (not only with others, but with myself). Even those of us who had secure relationships modeled for us growing up are still human beings with human feelings that are sometimes unpredictable, tender, and always deserving of care. Security requires, of course, that we are able to be present with what is happening in front of us and willing to shift out of our old ways of being to accommodate the real feelings and real people holding them. Security doesn’t happen in the past. It happens right now, in this moment. It starts with you.

I’ve been really interested in cultivating security lately—not just healing our attachment adaptations (although you know I love that too), but intentionally moving toward security. Choosing secure as how I want to feel. Noticing what supports me in that. Learning about how to create secure environments for myself and the people I love as well as all of the folks in my immediate and broader communities because that is just as important. Soaking up the goodness of my connections (I have missed them so much over the past 16 months) and noticing how they fill me up and support me in being the best version of myself.

And that brings me to my next project.

I had intended to create a group experience for this project, but having a toddler who is still very much a baby that needs his mama at bedtime (and most times, really), it’s challenging for me to commit to a consistent group time. As disappointed as I feel that this vision won’t pan out right now, I have lots of hope and excitement about other possibilities.

I am leaning further into the self-paced online course model to continue to create flexibility for not only myself and my family, but anyone who is interested in doing this work. This also allows me to offer the course at a lower price point than I would if I was leading live groups. After this pandemic year, it’s really important to me to create supports that feel low pressure, easily accessible, and valuable.

This course is a deeper dive into what it really means to be secure. We will be exploring polyvagal theory and attachment theory, embodied security, and practical strategies for softening into healing. If my Healing Anxious Attachment and Understanding Avoidant Attachment online courses were phase 1, this new course is definitely phase 2!

You can plan to look for this new offering in August! Here’s some more information and you can also sign up for the first to know list for an exclusive launch discount when the course is live.

In the meantime, do you have questions about secure attachment? If so, please leave me a comment on the blog. Your questions and curiosities help shape my planning and content and I want you to have the information you need to feel your best and most authentic in your daily life.

Thank you for YOUR flexibility and understanding, for pivoting with me when life gets wild, and enjoying this work with me. I really do feel so lucky to be here with you.

Warmly,

Elizabeth